DivorcePLUS Logo

Is Divorce Right for Me?

Filing for divorce is the easy part. Deciding if a divorce is right for you is the hard part. Use this guide to assist in your decision.
Woman with long hair looks confused - making a decision - decorative image

Deciding whether or not to pursue a divorce is a deeply personal and often difficult question. It involves considering various aspects of your life, including financial stability, emotional well-being, and future goals. This blog aims to explore these considerations in straightforward, everyday language, helping you make a more informed decision.

Does Divorce Ruin You Financially?

One of the most pressing concerns about divorce is its financial impact. While divorce can have significant financial implications, it does not necessarily lead to financial ruin. Many factors, such as the division of assets, alimony, and child support, play a role in determining each party’s financial situation post-divorce. It’s important to understand these aspects and plan accordingly. Remember to talk to a financial professional about your concerns.  A certified divorce financial analyst (CDFA) may be the person you are looking for.  These professionals help couples and their attorneys achieve equitable divorce settlements using knowledge of tax law, asset distribution, and short- and long-term financial planning.  Not ready to talk to someone?  DivorcePlus offers exert articles providing essential information on the financial aspects of divorce. 

Are You Happier After Divorce?

Happiness post-divorce can vary greatly from person to person. Some find that leaving an unhappy marriage leads to a significant increase in their overall well-being, while others may struggle with the adjustment. A study by Kingston University found that women, in particular, were significantly happier after divorce. The key is to focus on self-care and rebuilding your life in a way that brings you joy and fulfillment. DivorcePlus’s Divorce Life Coaching can be a valuable resource in navigating this new chapter in your life.

Does the Leaver Regret Divorce?

Regret after divorce, especially for the partner who initiated it, is not uncommon. However, regret doesn’t always mean that the decision was wrong. It often reflects the natural grieving process of losing a significant relationship. What’s crucial is to make the decision thoughtfully and consider seeking professional guidance. DivorcePlus offers a community support group (Community Support) that can provide emotional support and advice from others who have been in similar situations.

What is the Number One Killer of Marriages?

Woman sits on end of sofa looking away from man who appears upset - decorative image

While it’s difficult to pinpoint a single “killer” of marriages, the answer might be simpler and more common than many think. It’s not infidelity, money issues, or even constant arguing. The biggest threat to a marriage is lack of communication.  Looking back at your own relationship, were decisions made because of a failure to communicate your feelings or thoughts?  When couples fail to communicate effectively, they can become disconnected, leading to unresolved conflicts and emotional distance. 

... children in high-conflict homes often experience more stress and emotional issues ...

How Common is Divorce Regret?

Divorce regret is more common than many might think.  Surveys conducted in the US, estimate anywhere between 22%-30% of divorced people regretted their decision. However, regret doesn’t always equate to making the wrong decision. It’s important to distinguish between missing aspects of your former life and genuinely believing the divorce was a mistake. For those struggling with these feelings, consider meeting with a divorce coach or counselor. 

Is Divorce Better Than an Unhappy Marriage?

The answer to whether divorce is better than staying in an unhappy marriage varies for everyone. For some, divorce can be a release from a toxic or unfulfilling relationship, leading to personal growth and happiness. For others, the challenges that come with divorce, such as co-parenting and adjusting to single life, may be daunting. It’s essential to weigh the pros and cons based on your unique circumstances. In cases involving children, it’s also crucial to consider their well-being. Look for resources to help in your adjustment period.  This includes relying on your friends, family, and professional services.  If you have children involved, remember they have their own adjustment periods and will have to work through their feelings as well.  Look to parenting resources in your post-divorce life to guide you through your children’s emotions.

What About the Children?

But what about the children?  Should I stay married for them? You want to protect them, but is staying in the marriage doing more harm than good?  It’s important to consider the long-term effects this decision can have on both you and your kids.  Research suggests that children are highly perceptive and can be deeply affected by parental conflict. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), children in high-conflict homes often experience more stress and emotional issues compared to those whose parents have separated amicably​​.  We know that children learn how to behave in relationships from their parents.  So, the question you should start with is whether you want your children to copy the behavior from your relationship.  If the answer is an unequivocal “no”, you may already have your answer. 

Conclusion

Deciding whether to divorce is a complex and highly personal decision. Consider the financial, emotional, and practical aspects before proceeding. Seeking professional advice, whether it’s legal, financial, or emotional, can help you understand this challenging time more effectively. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Platforms like DivorcePlus provide a network of professionals to seek advice, valuable support, and guidance every step of the way.

Facebook
Twitter

This blog provides an overview and should not replace professional advice. It’s recommended to seek legal and financial counseling specific to your situation. For more in-depth information and support, visit DivorcePlus at https://divorceplus.com/.

Recent Divorce 101 Articles
DivorcePlus Decorative Image - shot of a young family relaxing together at home

Blending Families: A Difficult Task

In the web of family interconnections today, blended families are becoming more and more popular. First of all, blending two sets of families into one is a really adventurous journey. The idea of a perfect combined unit is great but in reality, it involves going through complexities and challenges that require patients, understanding and resilience.

Read More »