My Husband Was Cheating. What Now?

How to survive and thrive after an affair. Let’s go through this path together, discover insight, and find the path that’s right for you.
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It’s like a gut punch when you find out your spouse cheated on you. This is the betrayal that shakes the foundation of your trust and promises to each other. If you are reading this, it probably means that you are catching your breath to ask one question: “What will I do next?” Let’s go through this path together, discover insight, and find the path that’s right for you.   

Should You Get a Divorce after an Affair?

You’ve surely been told that once he’s cheated, you should walk away.  It might be the right decision for you, but let’s go through these 5 steps before making any quick decisions. 

1. Emotional Assessment

Upon discovery of an affair, you’ll each experience different emotions such as anger, sadness, betrayal and confusion. It’s key to understand each person’s emotions and feelings before making any decisions. Consider counseling or coaching to help determine why your spouse violated your trust.  This open dialogue will determine whether one wants separation or reconciliation.  If you aren’t ready for joint counseling, meet with a professional one on one to help you navigate your own feelings and create a path forward. 

2. The Nature and Context of the Affair

Different affairs have different contexts and not all cheating is equal. Was it just a slip-up once or was it some form of emotional bonding over a long period? Did it reveal an issue underlying the marriage or was it simply about selfishness? Understanding what led to the affair can give insights into whether your relationship can be salvaged or if getting divorced would be better.

3. Willingness to Rebuild

Another significant aspect determining divorce is both party’s desire to repair their relationship; which includes expressing genuine remorse on the part of cheating partner who takes full responsibility and commits themselves towards transparency and restoration of trustworthiness; as well as betrayed partner’s willingness for forgiveness and active role in healing process.

4. The Impact on Children and Family

If children are present, their welfare must be considered alongside how they might be affected by splitting up. While staying together only because of children is generally not recommended, finding a way forward that does least harm to your children is most important. But remember that establishing a secure loving environment outside the marriage is healthier than sticking to a shaky relationship.

5. Long-Term Viability and Happiness

Lastly, evaluate the potential for long-term viability in your marriage. Can you imagine rebuilding a relationship where both partners are happy, fulfilled and trusting each other again? You need to be realistic about whether staying together is self-serving or if you would find happiness and fulfillment by parting ways.

Do People Regret Divorce After Infidelity?

Regret is common following major life decisions including divorces.  Whether individuals regret divorcing after infidelity depends on other factors and the totality of the relationship.  It may be heart-wrenching but necessary for their well-being and happiness according to many who experienced it firsthand. The involvement of a divorce coach can help you process your anxiety about the divorce process.

How Many Marriages End in Divorce After an Affair?

According to statistics, cheating is one of the leading causes of divorces.  In a recent Forbes’s article, that number is as high as 60%!  It is also important to recognize that some couples decide to go through this together as they seek couples coaching and work on their relationship. Whether divorce or reconciliation is your preferred option, there are online resources to help you along the way. 

Does Infidelity Pain Ever Go Away?

Infidelity hurts but will lessen over time.  The hardest part will be the trust healing.  It takes time for such a deep wound to heal, especially through self-care and often professional help. Each person’s journey is different; some find comfort in new beginnings while others seek reconciliation and rebuilding the relationship. Engaging professionals like Victoria Habib, a certified life and divorce coach with expertise in post affair relationships can be very helpful here. Remember that grieving, seeking support and taking as long as required to heal are all okay.

Moving On

The period following discovery of an affair calls for introspection, decision-making and healing ultimately. Whether you want to move on or try saving your marriage understand that what you feel shouldn’t be invalidated by anyone since there are always people who will stand by you. DivorcePlus provides extensive resources and support services during this difficult stage of life.

One should take this journey as a chance for self-discovery and growth. Appreciate those around you who can help.  Turn to friends, family members, and acquaintances who are going down the same path. Don’t get caught up in the speed of the recovery process, but rather the direction you are heading. There’s hope for healing and possibility of a future filled with happiness and trust.

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