Divorce Perspectives: The Loneliness You Feel And Why

it's only natural that you'll feel alone during a divorce. Let's get into why this happens and how to find your way through it.
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The Emotional Rollercoaster of Divorce

It’s important that we highlight the emotional rollercoaster when going through divorce. Not only do you have to deal with separating logistics like legalities, living arrangements, but also your emotions. Sadness, anger, relief and sometimes even guilt all come to haunt us during this time. Each emotion can also lead to feeling of isolation as you begin to wonder “Does anyone else feel this way?”

When Your Partner Becomes Part Of You

In a marriage you build an identity with one another. Your lives are intertwined and so are your circles – friends, family and community. Once the divorce takes place that shared identity starts unraveling; making you question who you really are without them by your side.

Social Shifts & Stigma

With the separation comes big shifts in your social life too! For instance friends may take different sides which forces a split in common people you’d usually see everyday or often at least. Then there’s people avoiding social situations altogether due to questions they don’t want to answer or awkward looks they’d rather not endure.

Although it is more common nowadays than ever before there is still some stigma towards divorce out there which adds up on top of everything else going on.

Silence After The Storm

Many times after all of what we mentioned has settled down there comes silence; A deafening one for many people out there awaiting a sign or any type reconciliation if possible at all with their ex-partner. In most cases though once reality sets in and the dust settles the silence comes. Exiting a life filled with shared routines and conversations to now one that is dead silent. It’s normal to feel an even greater amount of loneliness during these times.

Parenting Challenges

If you had/have children it adds another layer of complexity because then you also have to navigate being a co-parent (unless sole custody was given) as well as deal with their emotions on top of your own. Not only this but adjusting to time spent without them can be a challenge sometimes, even leading to more feelings of isolation when they are with your ex-partner.

How To Navigate Through The Loneliness

Yes, acknowledging this feeling is the first step towards healing; but what’s next? Here are some strategies for you:

  • Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to reach out for professional help. A divorce coach or support group can offer a safe space where you can express your feelings and connect with others going through similar experiences.
  • Reconnect With Yourself: Use this time available now by the divorce to rediscover things you once loved doing that made happy before all of this – it’s so important! Reconnecting with yourself can be an extremely powerful antidote when it comes to loneliness.
  • Expand Your Social Circle: You might’ve put yourself on lockdown since everything started happening, however if ever there was a perfect time for meeting new people, now would be it. Join clubs, attend workshops or get involved in community activities that align with your interests.
  • Stay Active: Even though this one sounds generic physical activity does boost our mood and reduce feelings of loneliness – it’s scientifically proven! So if you’ve been meaning to join the gym or take up a sport; do it!
  • Embrace The Quiet: Although we mentioned how deafening silence after getting used to shared routines/activities/conversations hearing nothing at all can be; use that quietness as an opportunity for growth and introspection. Now is the time to reflect and heal so don’t be scared of it.

You’re Not Alone

Feeling alone during and after a divorce is something most people go through. But this isn’t the end. With enough support, time, and self-care you can navigate these emotions just like everyone else has before you. You are stronger than your trial! The end of a marriage is only the beginning of a new chapter in life, not the end of your story. New friends, family members, and places await for you to discover them on this new path.

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